For every amazing deal we spot on eBay Motors, we find maybe a dozen or more horrendous potential bilkings. Especially around times like these, where very high gas prices are throwing many established values out of the door, there are more than a few sellers out there with some awfully wrong-headed ideas.
I expected an old school feel from this 1994 Buick Roadmaster, but it actually is old school. For the folks who’ve never had the chance to drive domestic steel prior to 1978, let me make this live for you. Sit on your legs for a half hour while pounding 10 shots of Johnnie Walker Black on an empty stomach, then stand up, turn your head sideways and try to walk in the general direction of South America. This is what I encountered the first time I intentionally got the Beast a bit squirrelly, and it’s not like a $200 pair of track shoes will help. I’m not a contender for the next round of Formula Drift, but neither am I a stranger to opposite lock; let’s just say I won’t be doing that again outside of a controlled environment, where I can attempt to learn how to speak Beast.
Sometimes, I’m reminded all too clearly just how non-performance oriented the Roadmaster really is. This car is riding on truck tires for crying out loud, and it has enough body roll to be a platform for a Jackass stunt. It doesn’t even have a rear sway bar, but when I romp the gas I remember that many 60’s muscle cars didn’t have sway bars either, and look how much fun they were to drive. That’s been my main lesson from this pivotal getting-to-know-you phase of used car ownership—this will never be a nimble corner carver with a fun powerband, despite a host of handling upgrades available from the Impala/9C1 Caprice enthusiast community. No, it’s a muscle car hidden inside a bathtub, and to make it into anything other than a straight-line fun machine just doesn’t fit the character of this particular Roadmaster.
At this point, some of you might be wondering why a Roadmaster owner would seek out Impala SS enthusiasts for help. Still more of you might be wrestling with the idea of a Buick Roadmaster being anything other than a numb, bloated, long-distance cruiser. It’s true that this car is very much the antithesis of Winding Road, but it does have a rather notable saving grace. Pop the hood, and nestled between the wheel wells sits the same engine that powered the 1994-1996 Impala SS, not to mention the Camaros, Corvettes, and Caprice cop cars of the day. I’m speaking of the 350 cubic-inch LT1 V-8, producing 260 horsepower and enough torque to fog entire neighborhoods with 150-foot burnouts, and that’s without brake-torquing.
Lest you think the Winding Road team is all about turbos and corner-carving, here’s a shout out to the muscle loving, bigger-is-better crowd and their definitive late-model flagship, the 1994-1996 Chevrolet Impala SS. Lord Vader, your car is now a Keeper.
When General Motors announced the imminent demise of Pontiac, rumors sprung up about the much-loved G8 sedan being rebadged as a Chevy and potentially used for different North American police forces. Now, GM has officially taken the wraps off of its 2011 Chevrolet Caprice Police Interceptor, but take special note — it’s not actually a G8 (read: Holden Commodore) — instead, this car is a left-hand-drive iteration of the long-wheelbase Holden Caprice/Statesman.